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1 in 282

On 15th of September. I became 1 in 282. 

 

TRIGGER WARNING : This post may trigger emotions and unsettling feelings for those affected by miscarriage.

At 4 weeks I found out I was pregnant. It had been a long 1 year and 10 month wait, but we finally got to see those 2 pink lines. I couldn’t believe it. It was that easy. There was no romatic plan to tell elias or surprise him. I literally yelled from the toilet and he came running. It was almost like we didn’t believe it at first. Those 2 pink lines came up so quick we had to keep checking that they were still there!

Up until that point I had been feeling a bit tired, a bit queazy and all the rest of those early day symptoms. It was exciting.

At the end of week 5 we went to visit our GP. She has been there from the beginning of our journey and through my endometriosis diagnosis and surgery. She was so happy for us. Providing us with a bunch of information and providing us an early ultrasound scan form. Becasue of my history and my slight anxiety over not wanting to get “too excited” just yet, she granted me the early scan.

At 6 weeks and 5 days I woke up like every other morning. Got dressed for work. Ate my breakfast. Rubbed my bloated belly and prepared to head out the door. Before I left home I quickly went to the bathroom (as pregnant ladies know…that extra pressure on the bladder makes for an interesting time). This time though I got a shock. I had started bleeding. My heart stopped. I called my mum and dad and asked what to do. I called my gp while elias was coming home from work to be with me. This was a Thursday morning. Ironically we had already set up my early ultrasound to be that afternoon when we booked the appointment the week before.

My gp was happy for me to head to the ultrasound in the afternoon and then depending on the scan results, to book an appointment with her afterwards. The bleeding stopped within a couple of hours that morning and I had relaxed again. Afterall, I had read up and been told that bleeding a little can be totally normal.

I had my early scan at 4pm that afternoon. I had already warned elias that we may not see a heart beat and just to be prepared.

The scan showed a heart beat. Ticking away. Baby measuring exactly how they should be. We were relieved. I called mum and dad and told them the good news. We all yahood’ on the phone and celebrated with a sigh of relief. Afterall it’s not just the mother who is in this journey. It’s partners and family members too.

By Thursday night, I had some cramping. But not severe. Just kind of gassy. I had had pain most of my pregnancy and had put it down to a mix of growing pains and stretching scarring from my recent endo surgery.

I woke up Friday morning. As the day passed I just didn’t feel myself. I was at work and feeling happy, but I just felt different. Kind of uncomfortable. I didn’t have terrible cramping or anything like that. By 230pm It had all changed again. I had started bleeding again. But this time it was different. I absolutely KNEW it wasn’t good. It wasn’t heavy red bleeding. But it was different. Upset, I went to my friend and boss and explained what was happening, who rushed me straight down to my gp. Im so grateful for supportive, caring and strong women like her in my life. My gp saw me and could see i was distressed. I knew now what was happening. It’s so weird. I didn’t have the typical miscarriage signs or bleeding, but In my heart and being I knew what was happening. My GP organised me an emergancy ultrasound scan at the hospital.

At 3pm the scan showed a little being with a heartbeat once again. Measuring as they should with their beating heart. Again I was reassured everything was fine and going well.

By Friday night, my pelvis was cramping. Lying on the couch on my side was the most comfortable position. This is where I stayed until I went to bed.

This brings us to Saturday the 15th. A date that will most likely never be the same again. I woke up at 7am. By the time I took my first steps out of bed I knew I was in for a long haul. I bled from 7am through till 130pm extremely heavily. I moved from the couch to the toilet and back over those hours. I went through 3 and a half toilet paper rolls. By then I had gone into “survival mode”. No emotions. Just listening to my body and doing what had to be done. Thats the thing with miscarriage. Once it starts like this, you can’t stop it. The body just does naturally what it needs to do. I wasn’t scared. I wasn’t crying. I was calm and in control.

At 130pm I passed our baby. Elias drove me to the hospital. By the time we got there I was passing so much blood and tissue that they put me straight into an emergancy bay room and started to ensure I was in ok shape and doing okay mentally. By now my emotions were starting to change. I was upset but adrenalin was still pumping through my body. My hormones were all changing so quickly due to the miscarriage happening naturally and so quickly that day.  I had another ultrasound to confirm the loss and we were released from the hospital.

Now this is where it gets weird. We left the hospital and had to go to the grocery store to grab extra sanitary items. Im talking adult size almost nappies. That is how much blood i was losing. We literally walked out of the shops that afternoon with a giant bag of adult nappies, the biggest bag of ground coffee I’ve ever seen and a couple of blocks of chocolate lol. SURVIVAL PACK! As we walked around I looked at the people. I was literally walking around shopping within a couple of hours of having a miscarriage and nobody knew, but us. How many other women were walking around like me in that same situation? Just having to get moving and surviving. It was an intense and perplexing experience. It showed me that you truely never know what’s happening in the lives of those you pass on the street.

That night was tough. I cried and cried and cried. It was the silence. It was just us at home. Alone. Our little dream was gone just like that. In an instant. Elias supported and hugged me. I made sure through the whole day and ordeal that he was doing okay and he put his own emotions to the side to look after me and make sure I was safe. I’m so grateful for him and his strength that day.

By the next morning I was doing better. I was still sad but was better. This is where how people cope and manage comes into play. We are all different. Every women is different. Every miscartiage different. I cried a lot the Saturday night and grieved. By Sunday I wanted to return to normality. I wanted us to wake up. Have breakfast just like every other day. We had dinner with family that night. It took a week for the bleeding to stop.

I met with my GP on the following friday. She was so upset for me but happy that I was doing okay. She has referred me to another ultrasound in November to ensure there is no remaining tissue and to see how my uterus is recovering.

This experience was nothing short of traumatic, hurtful and disheartening. But again, like horrible experiences can, it put things into a beautiful perspective. We are loved. Friends and family dropped by flowers, cards, goodie bags and more. We were blessed in that we still had eachother, we had our health, we had a roof over our heads and a public hospital that we had access too. It made me incredibly grateful and proud of my body. I didn’t once blame myself or my body. It did exactly as it needed to do.

It also made me grateful for the brave women around me. The women brave enough to have shared BEFORE I even knew I was pregnant, about their miscarriages and infant loss. I am sooo proud and thankful of them. Had they of not shared their journeys and shown so much strength I could have been left feeling alone, isolated, lost and extremely defeated. Those women helped me through. I could turn to them and ask questions. Confide in them. If anything, it has strengthened our friendships.

I hope that by sharing our journey even just 1 woman or couple can feel connected, can ask us questions and know that they are not alone. Almost like paying it forward. I was lucky enough to have had women around me share their journey, so Im paying it forward.

I am so proud of my amazing husband. He was so strong through everything. It will take us a while to completely heal but we are doing really well! I could not have done this alone. Individually we are strong, together we are stronger.

Thank you for reading! Please remember to share awareness on the 15th of October as it is INTERNATIONAL PREGNANCY AND INFANT LOSS REMEMBERANCE DAY.

With Love Always,

AE xx

 

 

 

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Weekend bliss at one of Australias most beautiful beaches!

Sometimes we just need to get outdoors. Personally I work in an office , by the time the weekend comes around I’m usually craving some salty goodness on my skin and some time in the sun with my love. The weather here on the Sunshine Coast is starting to warm up and because we’ve just come out of winter, the water is crystal clear! One of my favourite places is the Noosa National Park. It’s a beautiful walk with an array of different trees, plants and wildlife. The amazing water dances along the cliff edges. Usually you can sight dolphins, turtles and at the right time of year whales. The footpath leads to beautiful little coves and tiny beaches.

Grab yourself a chai and get your adventure spirits on! Oh and keep an eye out for koalas in the tree tops!!

If you’re intending to do the hikes at the National Park or hit the beach for a few hours be sure to pack a few things

– water

– snacks

– sunscreen

– swimwear

– towel

– walking shoes

– sunglasses

Happy Adventures ♡

AE x

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“So Good” Singapore Noodles

Tonight I really felt like pizza. I think I just felt like something tasty, easy and ever so pleasy! Defrosting meat and cutting up tonnes of vegetables was just not on the cards and there was no way I was going to the shops to grab ingrediants for something. I had a think about what was in the pantry and remembered I had some vermicelli rice noodles. So using what we already had in the fridge we ended up with a super quick recipe that took no more than 10minutes from start to finish.

Here’s the quick and easy recipe…

I prepared and cooked the vermicelli noodles as per the packet they came in. I used about 300g. Once they were ready, I drained them then placed them in a large bowl and i sprinkled 1 tspn of curry powder over them and mixed it in well.

Next in my fry pan I lightly fried 3 diced garlic cloves and 1 tspn minced ginger in some oil. (I used olive oil but coconut oil is good too). Ifried these for about 1min.

I then added to the fry pan to be lightly pan fried

– thinly sliced 2 medium carrot

– thinly sliced 2 bunches of bok choy

– handful of snow peas

– 3 spring onions

I pan fried all the above veggies until they were just soft. (Keep some spring onion to the side as a garnish to finish).I then put the noodles into the fry pan. And mixed well. Roughly chopping them as I went along.

Lastly i popped 1/4 cup of soy sauce, 1 tblspn oyster sauce, chilli flakes and 1 tblnspn of bbq sauce in a jar and mixed well before pouring over the noodles in the pan.

Mix well. Garnish with spring onion. Enjoy. This made 4 meals for elias and I. (Keep in mind it could potentially make more as we eat a lot of food lol).

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Power Packed Protein Balls

It’s a cool cloudy afternoon and I feel like getting messy in the kitchen! After surgery results confirmed stage 3 (moderate endometriosis) and chronic inflamation around the same areas. So, I’ve been trying to get organised and trying to make healthier choices and ensure I’ve got my lunches and snacks ready so I don’t fall into the trap of eating highly inflammatory foods and sweets that are easy to get my hands on. At this point, I’ve still been making some not great meal options, but everyday I’m trying to make better choices.

I got creative this afternoon and made these protein bliss balls. They are absolutely PACKED full of nutrition and are a fantastic snack option.

••• RECIPE •••

I soaked 15-20 pitted dates in boiling water for about 20mins. I drained them and then blended up the dates until  they were a smooth mixture in my blender before transferring them into a mixing bowl.

I added about 1/2 cup of lsa, 1/4 cup desicated coconut, 1 serving of chocolate  pea protein powder, 1/4 cup maca powder, 1/4 cup cocao, powder plus 1 tblspn of coconut oil to the dates mixture in the bowl and mixed with a wooden spoon.

I mixed them altogether until the mixture was semi dry and easy to roll into balls.

I then picked my different coatings that I wanted to roll them in. I chose cocao powder, hemp seeds, buckwheat and matcha green tea powder. Usually i just roll them in coconut, but felt like being a little more adventurous, and I must say, It has definitely paid off!

I’ve popped them into the freezer so they stay nice and firm and keeping them in there will ensure they stay fresher for longer!

For more recipe ideas checkout some of my previous blog posts! 

With Love,

AE xx

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THE DIAGNOSIS – Endometriosis

MY JOURNEY ||
•Endometriosis is a condition that affects a woman’s reproductive organs. It occurs when cells similar to those that line the uterus are found in other parts of the body•


.
12-16 weeks ago I walked out of an ultrasound appt and was told to make a follow up appt with my Doctor. 2 weeks after that I walked out of my Drs surgery having been told I had a tumor on my left ovary.

Yesterday I was wheeled out of hospital diagnosed with the disease Endometriosis. But I already knew I had the disease well before it was diagnosed. 2 years ago I went to the dr with pretty hardcore fatigue. I would always have the feeling of needing a nap. Which, generally most people feel. I was training for long course triathlon at the time so it was passed as general fatigue from endurance training. Over that year and the following year ( 2016-2017), I approached the dr during regular check ups about the fact that my skin was breaking out horrendously. I was told that there was no exact  reason for it to be happening. I had my bloods and hormones etc checked and everything came back normal. I was told it’s just something that happens sometimes and my only real option was strong medicine, but I couldn’t take those If i was wanting to fall pregnant soon. So I just covered up my acne along my jaw line and neck with makeup. This brings me to the next clue. Fertility. Nothing was happening. I was told to wait a bit longer. It had already been over a year of trying. I asked if perhaps my skin and the fertility issue could be linked to endo or pcos.
I was told that my symptoms weren’t really showing the signs of pcos or endo. After persisting, I was granted an ultrasound which if we rewind back takes us to the top of my post. I understand my doctor believing that it wasn’t anything to worry about, afterall, I didn’t really show pain. People suffering the disease endo, tend to show extreme pain, even being hospitalised. I got pain on the first day of my menstrual cycle each month. But that was it. It hurt but not unbearable. Everyone is so different and so are our bodies. That’s the thing about endo. Some people can have mild endo but have severe pain, while others can have severe endo and mild pain. The tumor that showed up on the ultrasounds turned out to be an endo nodule.My dr/surgeon was suprised at how much endo I actually had and she wasn’t expecting to find what she did. I was granted a happy pill (relaxant) before heading into surgery. From there I was wheeled in on my bed, had an oxygen mask placed on my face, had my hand held by a lovely nurse and I went off to sleep. I woke up not long after in recovery. I was given a strong dose of pain killers so felt virtually nothing after surgery. I woke up at 430am this morning feeling like I had been stabbed multiple times in the stomach. I can’t wait to recover and get back to normal life! This sort of thing really makes you appreciate having a strong healthy body that moves with ease. I hope if anything, you get from this, to listen to your body and your gut instincts. If you know somethings wrong or feel something, stick with it and don’t take no for an answer.

 

Thank you to my amazing husband Elias Evans for always taking care of and supporting me and to all my beautiful friends and family that have been in contact during this journey and making sure I was all good! You guys know who you are! Much love ae x

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Simply-Stuffed Portobello Mushies

Sooooo…your basic cook is back again ! I’ve got a new recipe! This time something savoury. I was needing to cook something up quickly before the man of the house went to play touch football, but I really wasn’t feeling the whole “defrost the meat, cut it up, cook it”…blah blah blah. I kind of felt like something tasty, hot, warming but easy. This is what I came up with….

You’ll need…

 

Large Portobello Mushrooms (i used 5)

1 tomato diced small

1 half red capsicum diced small

1 large onion diced small

2 tspns garlic crushed

Large handful fresh spinach chopped small

2/3 cup Panko Crumbs

Danish fetta (as much as you like)

Cheddar Cheese (to top mushrooms)

Oil to cook with (i used a garlic infused olive oil as I was cooking on low heat in the pan)

 

Pop your mushies stem down in your oven on 180° degrees . Leave for 10-15mins. Checking them. You are looking for them to start leaking water. Once they are, remove them and stand on paper towel to drain. Remove the stems gently, youll be keeping these for later.

Roughly dice your capsicum, onion, tomato, spinach aswell as the stems of the mushies. Add oil to pan, add garlic and all the above listed veggies. Once veggies are sautéed and soft, add panko crumbs and season to taste with salt and pepper and any Italian herbs you desire. Turn off pan or take off heat. Lastly add the danish fetta. Mix altogether so fetta is evenly spread through mixture.

Turn mushrooms so the stem side is upright. Spoon mixture into the middle of the mushrooms. The mushrooms should hold the mixture like a cup.

Once mushrooms are stuffed add cheddar cheese to the top and place under a grill. Grill until cheese is brown and melted.

Serve with your favourite side of veggie greens.

These were honestly sooooo easy to make and were absolutely delicious. Even hubby, who isn’t a mushroom fan gave them the thumbs up.

Again, another recipe that’s simple, nutritious and back to basics!

Explore my blog for more recipes and smoothie blends!

Yours in health and wellness,

AE xx

 

 

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Berry Yummy Pancakes

BLUEBERRY PANCAKES ANYONE?

Ok, so although in our home we try to stick to nutritious and nutrient rich meals, we also like to treat ourselves! One grey Monday morning that happened to be a public holiday, the cravings for sweet and warm were real! Enter….BLUEBERRY PANCAKES!

It was so lovely to be creating these from scratch. No box. No packet mix. All from scratch. The “old school way”. Check out the recipe below and have fun getting messy in the kitchen!

You will need…..

 

1 + 1/2 cups self raising flour

1/4 tspn bicarb soda

1 egg

1 + 1/2 cups milk of choice

3/4 cups castor sugar

2 tspns vanilla essence

25g butter, melted

1 cup organic frozen Blue berries

Mix all ingrediants (leave out blueberries). Sifting flours and sugar. Once mixture has been mixed and there are no lumps, softly fold through blueberries. Cook in a fry pan with a little bit of butter to grease the pan.

Enjoy with your favourite toppings!

AE xx

 

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Antioxidant Rich Smoothie

I loveeeee spending time at the beach and playing in the ocean and it’s waves. I love having salty skin and the feeling of warmth from the sun on my body. However, having fun on the seashore means working up an appetite! I’ve popped below my recipe from one of my recent smoothie creations! It’s full of rich antioxidants, potassium, iron and protein! Now don’t be scared, you actually can’t taste any of the leafy greens in the blend! How awesome is that, getting your greens in and not even noticing it!

 

RECIPE

Handful of  frozen or fresh blueberries

1 banana

Handful of kale 1 cup spinach

Almond milk

Pea protein powder

Ice

 

Blend altogether and enjoy! Adding the fruit as frozen fruit keeps the smoothie nice and cold! Enjoy guys.

AE xx

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LEAN GREEN SMOOTHIE

This guys, is one of my new FAVOURITE smoothie recipes! It’s filled with potassium, good fats, antioxidants, protein, iron and so much more!

Use this as your breakfast or lunch or snack smoothie! Depending on your health and wellness goals!

RECIPE

1/2 Avocado

1 banana

2-3 Frozen strawberries

Serve of vegan pea protein

1 cup spinach

1 cup almond milk

1 scoop greens powder (I use MODERE green qi)

Ice

BLEND TOGETHER AND ENJOY!

 

You could actually turn this into a “smoothie bowl”. Just ensure your banana is frozen and add more ice andthen serve in a bowl! You can also add more nutrients to the smoothie! Get creative! Add LSA, maca powder, acai berries, flaxseeds etc!

Comment below for more smoothie recipes!

 

AE x

 

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AVO-go at these Avocado health facts!

Apart from their creamy delightful taste Avocados are packed FULL of the good stuff. Let’s have a look into why these little green bundles of joy do so much for our bodies!

Avocados contain a multitude of vitamins! Including vitamins C, E, K, and B-6, as well as riboflavin, niacin,folate, pantothenic acid, magnesium, andpotassium. They are also a great source of OMEGA 3 fatty acids!

They are a “good fat” source. Keeping you fuller for longer and blood sugar levels stable!

They contain more potassium than a banana! They are loaded with fibre and heart healthy monosaturated fatty acids!

Studies also show that avocados reduce total cholesterol levels significantly, reduce blood triglycerides by up to 20%, lower LDL  (bad cholesterol) by up to 22% and  increase HDL (the “good”) cholesterol by up to 11%.  – ( https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/12-proven-benefits-of-avocado )

As you can see, avos are full of amazing health benefits! Not only are they beneficial to your health, but they are extremwly versatile to cook and create with! From salads to avocado smash! Get creative in your kitchen with this amazing food source!

AE x